Greta Christina on "Can Watching Porn Be Cheating?"

Over at the Blowfish Blog, the always-insightful Greta Christina takes on the issue of porn use in relationships:

Normally I adore Scarleteen, and recommend them unreservedly as a source of sex info and advice. And I feel a bit churlish calling them out on this one, since I found out about it because they were kind enough to link to me in their “wide range of feminist views of porn” section. If their advice had been about almost any other form of sexual activity, I would have been right there with them. And when it comes to the lap dances, I think their perspective is valid.

But when it comes to porn, I think they missed the boat.

I’m going to go out on a limb here:

I don’t think anyone has the right to expect their partner not to watch porn.

Why not? Well, let me put it this way. Do people have the right to expect their partners not to masturbate? Or, for that matter, do people have the right to expect their partners not to watch reality TV or read true crime? On their own time, when they don’t have any obligations and their partner isn’t around?

And if not — then why on earth would anyone have the right to expect their partner not to watch porn?

[more]

I elaborate my thoughts on this in the comments section after Greta's post, but basically, I'm more or less in agreement with her on this for the same set of reasons she gives, with the caveat (and nod to the Scarleteen position) that its up to the partners in every individual relationship to determine what's "reasonable" to give up or tolerate from the other partner. (Within the limits of putting up with what constitutes outright abuse by a partner.) I also think that, like attitudes toward meat-eating, religion, or monogamy, attitudes toward porn are one of those issues that its best for partners to be on the same page going into a relationship.

Addendum: Greta Christina follows up on the subject further here. She also has some interesting thoughts on how this relates to the negotiation of monogamy or non-monogamy in relationships here.

Porn reviews without any of the bullshit

Susie Bright has launched a new project: the Random Honest Porn Review blog. It's a site where people can submit reviews of porn, new or old, from all across the vast porno spectrum. And for $5 a month, Susie will even send you porn to review! Hot damn!

According to the site:

It doesn't matter if the movie is new or old, famous or unknown, terrible or eloquent.

Watch the darn thing, from beginning to end, and write us what you think.

There's a handy form to submit your porn review. It doesn't get a whole lot simpler than that.

Greta Christina on Hard Porn, Sex Work, and Consent

Greta Christina had an excellent post the other day on the above-mentioned issues:

See, in any kind of job, and in any kind of relationship, there are things you like and things you don't. Even if it's a job or a relationship that you're basically happy with, there are going to be parts that are hard to deal with. What makes a job or relationship a healthy one is that the good parts make the bad parts worth putting up with -- and that you're free to make that decision.

And that's true for porn -- all porn, not just spanking porn -- as much as it is for any job. I think some people have a tendency to think that if every single thing on a porn shoot isn't a perfect erotic dream for every performer, it's therefore exploitation at best and coercion at worst....But if you look at making porn as (a) a job and (b) a sexual relationship, you realize that porn doesn't have to make all its performers perfectly happy in order to be a healthy job. It just has to make them happy enough. There has to be enough about it that they like, sexually and professionally, for the stuff they don't like to be worth putting up with.

[more]

She also links to another excellent post on this topic on ErosBlog, "Evil Porn Werewolf Enslavers Debunked". I liked it so much, I thought I'd throw in a direct plug here. ErosBlog is a new one to me, but its on my regular reading list now.