Right ON

I linked to Dacia’s latest post about “feminist porn” in my del.cio.us links yesterday, but I had such a “yes yes YES that’s IT!” reaction to it that I feel compelled to quote liberally here…

To me, making feminist porn is not about what is actually shown on screen and much more about what is happening on the production end of things. This is very clearly an expression of my years working in the sex industry and working for sex workers’ rights, but like Petra says in the beginning of this paragraph, “our tastes on what we find sexy in the bedroom or on film differ.” We can have a whole argument about the nurture and nature of “taste” - but I don’t think liking or not liking specific acts can make or break a feminist.

I don’t care if porn shows a woman masturbating by herself (like in many of the Abby Winters photo sets and videos), a woman fucking a guy with a strap-on (like in The Bi Apple, a woman enthusiastically sucking cock (like in Erika’s films), or a pregnant woman getting fucked up the ass with a baseball bat (like in Belladonna’s Fucking Girls Again). What I do care about is: does that performer want to be there? Is the director/producer respecting her needs and paying her appropriately? Did she get blindsided by requests for acts she doesn’t want to do?

The answers to those questions determine whether or not the porn is feminist, sex-positive, and ethical for me, not what is happening on screen.

Do you get it now, people? Do you? I still do not know why this is a difficult concept, but clearly it is. And so these things must continue to be said, emphatically.

I might write more about this later. I need to crawl into bed now, though, because I got up at 6:00 a.m. on a Saturday.

[Cross-posted at Being Amber Rhea]

Is Porn Turning Awful?

Found this link through Amber, I believe. Basically a fellow (I think?) who's become tired of porn, thinking it's become the sort of thing anti-porners complain about and despairing of finding anything good. He offers a point-by-point list of his grievances, and I thought it might be interesting to compare it to some of my tastes.

Bear in mind I've not seen any movies in years... I'm mostly of the Netpornious Moocherious species ;)

My needs are simple, I think.

• Normal looking people who at least look like they're having fun.

Define "normal." Right off the bat this worries me. Personally I had an anti-implants thing for a long time, and I still worry about pressure to get them. But I'll never think quite the same about them after a transwoman friend called me on it once when I was mocking someone's implants. I think there has to be a way to talk about both personal preference and problematic pressures (whee, she alliterates!) without setting up a hierarchy of bodies. As someone with a surgically modified body myself, I really ought to have been more sensitive to this from the beginning.

As far as looking like they're having fun: yeah, I agree there.

• No one looking at the camera.

I prefer this too. It's very odd to me to see people who are having sex look away.

• No movies that describe the women as sluts, whores, or bitches, or use the words "molest" or "gang" on the cover.

I suspect this is a personal trigger. For me, I don't really mind it. I'd like to see "slut" embraced in a more positive way, as it is say in BDSM circles where it's often clearly not an insult. But I'm not against the use of it at all.

"Bitch" is silly to me at best and anger-inducing at worst. I'd turn off the sound if I heard that, but probably not the video. Mute buttons + sexy music are your friends, kiddies.

As far as "molest," that one never bothered me. And "gang" just sounds intense and kinky to me.

• No anal, please. Nothing against the act itself, but it's not particularly aesthetically pleasing

*blink* *blink*

*slight pause to say MOAR PEGGING PLZ*

Moving right along...

• Not a big fan of the camera-between-the-legs shots anyway, or the extreme, can't-get-any-closer-or-she'll-swallow-the-camera closeups. I'd rather see the whole body and the lovers' growing arousal.

I actually really like those. I'm not big on the subtlety of growing arousal being the only experience. This IS about watching fucking, after all.

• Woman-woman scenes that looks like they might be enjoying it. You know, with kissing and maybe even some foreplay before they whip out the 20-inch double-headed dildo or try to go up to their elbows.

I'm not a big fan of kissing. I like probing people's mouths with my tongue, but there really isn't a way to depict that on camera well. Forget it.

And... again, this is about watching fucking. Why do I want to see The Hair-Stroking Swoony Story of Lesbian Love, here?

I mean, I get the idea that what this person wants is more context, and I'm for that... but for me, good context doesn't come from buildup of story. It comes from being present in the moment. It comes from liking sex with other women, rather than doing it boredly to entertain males.

All the better, as far as I'm concerned, if being present in the moment means hard ramming fucking.

The one thing that bugs me about mainstream girl-girl scenes, aside from We Are Obviously Bored As Hell Hets is the cunnilingus. In order for the camera to see anything, they have to... vaguely point their tongues at vulvas.

Much as I like seeing vulvas (closeups are joy!)... get your face in there, people! I may feel sad your head's in the way, but at least I know the sex is real. If you want you can do some of the side-tonguing because you know I'm looking. But please, if the I have the tip of my tongue loosely resting on a labium thing is gonna be the main event, just (as much as I hate to say it) skip to the penetration, because there's NO POINT.

• An entire movie without silicone or implants of any kind. Try it, I dare you.

See #1.

• Women who don't feel obligated to stick their entire tongue out of their mouths whenever they kiss or lick anything.

Yes.

• Look, if you show me a guy pulling out of a woman's ass and moving around to her mouth, which seems to be the trend these days, you've lost me. Forget it, I'll turn the thing off and go watch cartoons. I mean, eww.

I'm not interested in that either, but I don't see any reason for eww unless I've reason to assume that there was no cut so he could clean his cock off. If there wasn't one, yeah, I cringe. If I have no reason to believe there wasn't, well, *shrug*

• Women that aren't made up to look underage or like an 80's hair band groupie.

Not my taste either on those. Though the schoolgirl thing, as a whole schtick, I'm beginning to find somewhat cute.

• Guys that look like someone you might not run away from on a dark night. Or a sunny afternoon.

Yeah, better looking guys would be nice.

• Lighting that makes the actors look soft and sexy instead of plastic and poorly shaved.

Oh, are we still on the soft shit? While soft light is flattering, I don't want cutesy-poo washy lighting. Goddess save us all from that.

• Sounds that weren't dubbed or forced. I'm sorry, no one moans with ecstasy while they're giving a blowjob.

You don't know many subs who love cocksucking, I don't think.

• People grateful to get oral sex instead of standing there looking haughty and all conquerery.

Any particular reason why both together is a bad idea, here?

• Movies that don't have the same sex acts, in the same order, every time.

True.

• And, hardest to find of all...playfulness! I have absolutely no interest in watching people fuck who look too fake, too insensitive, too shallow, or too scary. Don't fun people fuck? In front of a camera, I mean?

Yes, I'd love to see more playfulness in general as well.

The fascinating thing to me about this post is the sheer vanillaness of the way this person talks. And that if he is a man, his tastes are so much more soft and sweet than mine are. Where the stereotype is, y'know, men aren't for the cuddling and the foreplay and all. Especially not in their taste for pr0nz.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against soft and sweet personally. A lot of it is quite good-mood-inducing. But I have a hard time understanding why most porn should be like that. When I want to see porn, I want to see sex, not the intricacies of other people's foreplay.

Intricate dances of desire work better for me in lit -- and even there, too much coy courtship dancing and I lose interest (unless it's one of those rare gems that is worthwhile both as a story AND as smut, with rich characters whose lives I want to know more about regardless of the sex.)

Teachable moment, heh

Transcript of a story told to me over IM... (Posted all in a row like this, it looks kind of like poetry, with all the line breaks. And that makes it even funnier.)

so my roomie was showing me stuff around the apartment
and he was like, "this is where my videos are
feel free to watch any whenever you want"
and then he gets this slightly sheepish look on his face
and he's like, "um, there might be some porn in there."
and i say, "i don't care."
and he rushes on, "it's all softcore stuff, like playboy. i mean, there's nothing hardcore."
to which i reply, "well, that's a shame."
and he looks at me like i have two heads or something
and i'm like, "i really don't care."
and he starts stuttering apologies/justification
and i'm like, "really, I DON'T CARE."
and he stops and he's like, "so, what. women watch porn?"
and i'm about to fall down b/c i'm trying so hard not to laugh
b/c he's SO sincere
and i'm like, "look."
"one of my friends has been taking pictures to be naked on the internet..."
"and another sent me an email this morning asking what i thought about searching for a fuckbuddy on craigslist"
i REALLY DON'T CARE that you have porn.
"unless it's tony comstock. then i care."
...which he didn't understand, but that's probably just as well. :)
anyway
that made MY day.
first time he's lived with a girl. :)

Heh.

Collective action

Someone brought up the problem of collective action elsewhere. The idea that "well, if everyone stopped supporting the capitalistic system/eating meat/buying exploitative porn (or any porn, if you're the type to think it all is) then these problems would disappear." It reminded me of my own struggles with porn back when I was a hmmm shall I call it more porn-critical? I was never exactly anti-porn feminist.

I stopped using porn for a while, which I've mentioned, for reasons very like those. I've mentioned going back to using porn in here before, but I thought this take on it might prove interesting and illuminating, so:

"Well, I like this, and I'm not
using it for sexist reasons BUT if we ALL stopped, there'd be NO more rape on
film. And someone has to get the ball rolling. As much as I'll miss enjoying
looking at it, if I'm the one who does, I'm brave!" *pretends vast majority of
hard drive is empty*

*waits eagerly for The Menz (tm) to be inspired by her example*

*crickets*

"Huh. This ain't workin'. Looks like I don't matter to the machine."

*Devil appears on shoulder* "Don't you miss it?"

*Angel appears on shoulder* "No! Do not open that folder!"

"But... she's right. I'm liberating nobody doing this and I'm feeling resentful
about what I can and can't look at, and surely that's not feminist political
action."

*Angel gasps* "But if NO ONE lives like they would in the better world, it'll
never come to pass! And remember, once the Industry falls, people will be free
to make pictures again and you can look at them! You should be doing your part
to speed The Day's coming!"

"Hmm. Um..."

"She's off her gourd. No sexist guy has, will, or did change his wanking
patterns because you changed yours!"

"Nnnnngh...."

"'Be the change you want to see in the world!'"

"Hmm, she has a point there. Someone's gotta be the example."

"But you're NOT the example. Hear the crickets? No one cares! They've never even heard of you, or of anti-porn feminists -- or if they have they think MacKinnon needs a dicking, or snicker about the dickings she got from Masson."

*mouse hovering*

"'Never doubt that a small group of concerned citizens can change the world. It's the only thing that ever has.'"

*Dev's tail twitches* "Angel honey, have you ever had an original thought in your LIFE?"

*Trin wavers*

*Devil rolls her eyes* "Trin, Angel has about as much idea what those sayings mean as you or I do. Who are the 'concerned citizens'? What kind of political action did they actually do? How'd they plan it? And where's the proof that everyone who made serious social change started as a small group anyway? And who's your "group" of concerned citizens? All I see is you yourself, agonizing over whether to purge your porn collection. I don't see you in an "expornie" group, struggling together to not look. Whatever sense that saying makes, it's just a bumper sticker now."

*clamor*

"But Trin, you can't support that!"

"Think about this T: do you feel bad that (exboyfriends, male friends, male lovers) use porn?"

"Oh, no! Not at all!"

*angel glowers*

"Well... in a better world maybe they oughtn't, but... no, I'm not sure I think they're doing something wrong."

"Wouldn't you think that if individuals not using porn any more helps, it would surely help more for them to stop? After all, they're men, and the anti-porn feminists you hang with consider women's use of porn an irrelevant anomaly."

"True, but... it doesn't feel right to tell my friends what they ought to do, if they already know there's sexism in porn. Which I know they do, because we've talked about it."

"If they can use it because their individual use isn't worrisome to you, and they're men, what does you using it matter?"

"Uhhh... hmmm."

*further clamorous yammerings*

*click*

An Apology to Abby Lee

Earlier I had posted an excerpt from Abby Lee's Girl With a One Track Mind blog entry regarding some comments she had made regarding her tastes for seeing men in porn.

Unfortunately, in my haste, I forgot to read the part Abby wrote about getting explicit permission and a copyright notice from her before reposting excerpts from her blog.

Therefore, I have gone ahead and deleted the post; and will simply refer you to Abby's original entry, which is here.

She also has another entry which documents her recent struggle with Blogger, who flagged her blog as "spam" and for a while suspended her access to it.

Newsflash... women like it, too

It astounds me that this is still considered news among some self-identified progressives, but - gasp! - women like porn, too!

Yes, women are sexual beings who get turned on watching people fuck. This is news, apparently.

A new Toronto Sun article says:

According to a 2006 survey by Nielsen NetRatings, women are among the fastest growing users of cyber porn with the number of women downloading X-rated material skyrocketing to 1.4 million.

The article spends a lot of time with the usual "He looks at porn so he must not love me" trope, but does include some quotes from Chanelle Gallant, organizer of the annual Feminist Porn Awards.

[Via Ms. Naughty Porn for Women Blog]

Not anti-porn? You must be a man.

Most women can relate to how shitty it feels to have your thoughts and feelings completely discounted, just written off as being "too emotional" or the result of PMS. It sucks. It removes all agency and is a convenient way of not letting women's voices be heard.

So the "male-identified" accusation is different, how...?

Answer: it's not. It's dismissive and it reinforces gender stereotypes.

And, too, it's not acceptable to discount men as thinking with their dicks, or being "creepy" simply for having an interest in sex (see Dacia's post on that topic), or the other gendered stereotypes that are often attached to men.

Note, I am not talking about calling men out on male privilege. Women (and other men) should absolutely do that, especially as part of a feminist, progressive discourse. And men should listen, and learn. So before anyone goes there, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about stereotypes. And stereotypes aren't good for anybody.

I guess the only thing worse that being called a man because of your stance on porn, is actually being a man and holding that same stance on porn. (Or perhaps one is not worse than the other, but rather they're two sides of the same shit-covered coin.)

Marty Klein didn't get "you're just like a man" or "you must be a man" or "you sound like a man." Instead, he got, "I am not surprised that you arrogantly only see this from a man’s point of view."

Convenient, isn't it? If someone makes an argument about porn you don't like, they're either a man, or they're male-identified. Because certainly no real woman would have that kind of (reasoned, well-thought-out) opinion about porn. That is "a man's point of view." No woman could have that point of view. Nice girls don't.

Talk about removing women's agency. We're either victims, or we're male-identified. Riiiight.

Or, as Marty Klein put it:

What you’ve done is just as bad as dismissing a woman’s opinion as “just a woman being emotional,” or “women just don’t get it,” or “she’s just premenstrual.” If we want to get beyond “women only think with their hormones,” we have to get past “men only think with their penises.”

Women users of porn

I've been thinking of the way that much of radical feminist theory analyzes what happens when women look at porn, and wondering whether they're generally right or not. So, a question to women porn users in here: do you "identify" with a particular character when you use porn? And how and when do you use it?

In MacKinnon and Dworkin, for example, a woman who sees porn sees what she is "for," learns how men want to use her. In a lot of personal accounts I've read from women who don't like porn, a woman sees "what her man really wants." She finds herself thrust into competition with another woman, this one a too-perfect foil to heterosexual male desire. She's invariably found wanting, and this is a deeply stressful experience.

I see it assumed that even among women who like porn, the woman viewer "identifies" with the woman in heteroporn. (What about lesbian and faux lesbian porn?) But I wanted to question this -- personally, as a top, I tend to identify with the top, regardless of gender. Especially since the camera generally focuses on the bottom anyway. You tend much more often to see more glancey glimpses of the top (with occasional focus) -- which is vaguely, well, like what you see of your own body if you're doing it yourself! ;)

But I know I'm somewhat statistically odd in what I like, and also bisexual. So there's all of that.

And I'm sure that identifying with the bottom is equally complicated and interesting, particularly coming from women, who indeed aren't the target consumers of most porn. I'd love to hear about that. :)

And I also wanted to think a bit about the term "identify." I tend to put myself in the role of the top, yes, and imagine doing the same (or similar -- an image may help to shape but does not constrain my imagination) things to the bottom. But I'm not sure that's "identification." When you identify with someone, you understand them, take on their point of view, sympathize with their goals.

Sure I'm in a sense taking on that top's "point of view" -- I'm wanting to do what sie is doing. But I'm not really endorsing what that person endorses in a serious way. I have no idea who sie is. Or even who hir character is. It's not, in the average porno movie or set of digicam pictures, spelled out much at all who that character is supposed to be. Maybe some vague hints, and yes, maybe I'll think of being that character as I imagine the sex/BDSM/whatever I'm looking at.

But is that really "identification?" It seems to me "identification" with a character in, say, a novel, implies a lot of investment. If I identify with Harry Potter, I see some of myself in the character or some of the character in me. Yes, that's how it feels to lose loved ones so young. Yeah, I was a bit of a child celebrity and my friends weren't and it made things tense. Yeah, people expect me to do Big Important Shit and y'know, I feel a little like I'm seventeen and unready sometimes. Yeah, that one science teacher I had had it in for me, and hated kids. What a drag that was! Wow, I can really identify with this character.

I don't really have any conclusions to draw from any of this. But I did want to call attention to the complexity of all this and to ask other women: what DO you experience when you use porn, a medium which is supposedly not designed for you?

And heck -- men, go ahead and answer too if you like. I'd rather hear from women just because porn is so often assumed to be used by men, but I'm sure you've got interesting stories too. (Any of you ever "identify with" the people being penetrated? *grin*)