Yeah, that's right, I'm pro-porn

For the longest time (am I the only one singing along to Billy Joel in my head now?), the term "pro-porn" really rankled me. And I mean up until about two days ago. As a matter of fact, on a certain level it still rankles me, because, like Trinity, I see it as a nasty, reactionary label slapped onto those of us who don't toe the anti-porn hardline, by certain smug internet denizens who do.

But when I saw Ren had started this blog, I decided, "Fuck it. It's time to take the label that was used to hurt and dismiss, and make it our own."

Because, really, I am pro-porn - but, again, as Trinity has shown, one of the problems with that term is that it can mean so many different things, and if the people having a conversation are all operating from different definitions, there can be some pretty big misunderstandings. So, when I say I'm pro-porn, here's exactly what I mean...

I think the free, open, uninhibited, joyful expression of sexuality, in whatever form makes people happy and gets them off, is a good thing. What you like might not be what I like and none of it may be what that person over there likes; but that's beside the point. We all should feel the freedom from shame (or more severe, tangible punishment) to express whatever it is that gets us off. We should not feel that we have to "rein in" our sexuality because it makes someone uncomfortable, or because it's seen as dirty, or sinful, or silly, or unimportant, or offensive, or whatever else. As women, we get all of this and more from the society around us, every day. And frankly I am sick of it. I am a highly sexual woman, and I am NOT going to apologize for it, or "tone it down," or anything else. I am going to be ME.

So where does porn fit into all that? Well, I truly believe that porn can be an expression of these things for women. Note the word can. I shouldn't even have to say it, but obviously this does not mean all porn is awesome. Most porn, in my opinion, isn't awesome; but that doesn't mean we throw the baby out with the bathwater. To go back to my music analogy, if I were to say I'm "pro-music," I seriously doubt many people would immediately jump to "So, you support all the drug and alcohol abuse in the music industry?? So, you want to run independent artists out of business??"

And, too, there's the very basic, fundamental concept that many people have already mentioned here: consenting adults should be able to do whatever the fuck they want. None of us get to be the morality police for other adults.

I'm pro-porn as part and parcel of being sex-positive. And I'm sex-positive because, well, I just can't imagine being any other way. It just feels right. This society is sex-negative, no two ways about it. And what's bizarre is that sex is either dirty, nasty, base, shallow, frivolous, scorn-worthy; or it's sacred, holy, extraordinary, on a pedestal above the rest of the world.

Neither of those are right. And it saddens me that those are our options (and astounds me at how often the two polar opposites are conflated). So how could I not be sex positive?