Greta Christina on "Can Watching Porn Be Cheating?"

Over at the Blowfish Blog, the always-insightful Greta Christina takes on the issue of porn use in relationships:

Normally I adore Scarleteen, and recommend them unreservedly as a source of sex info and advice. And I feel a bit churlish calling them out on this one, since I found out about it because they were kind enough to link to me in their “wide range of feminist views of porn” section. If their advice had been about almost any other form of sexual activity, I would have been right there with them. And when it comes to the lap dances, I think their perspective is valid.

But when it comes to porn, I think they missed the boat.

I’m going to go out on a limb here:

I don’t think anyone has the right to expect their partner not to watch porn.

Why not? Well, let me put it this way. Do people have the right to expect their partners not to masturbate? Or, for that matter, do people have the right to expect their partners not to watch reality TV or read true crime? On their own time, when they don’t have any obligations and their partner isn’t around?

And if not — then why on earth would anyone have the right to expect their partner not to watch porn?

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I elaborate my thoughts on this in the comments section after Greta's post, but basically, I'm more or less in agreement with her on this for the same set of reasons she gives, with the caveat (and nod to the Scarleteen position) that its up to the partners in every individual relationship to determine what's "reasonable" to give up or tolerate from the other partner. (Within the limits of putting up with what constitutes outright abuse by a partner.) I also think that, like attitudes toward meat-eating, religion, or monogamy, attitudes toward porn are one of those issues that its best for partners to be on the same page going into a relationship.

Addendum: Greta Christina follows up on the subject further here. She also has some interesting thoughts on how this relates to the negotiation of monogamy or non-monogamy in relationships here.

Slight Alteration of the Blog Theme

After getting final approval from Ernest and Ren, I've went ahead and updated the blog appearance with a slightly new theme. This is probably not as radical as most expected, but one of the main constraints was that I wanted to keep the header photo at the top...and none of the newer themes that I really wanted would allow me to do that.

So what say thou?? Good enough, or should I go farther??

Juliet "Aunt Peg" Anderson (1938 - 2010) -- Presente

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New Year, And Some Minor Changes to This Blog

I know that it has been quiet here for the holidays, so I have taken advantage of the down time to make some adjustments to this blog.

First off....due to the late run of spamming and drive-by trolling we have endured, I am now officially putting all comments on moderation (save for the usual posts by our founding contributors, such as Ernest, Ren Ev, IACB, or any other pro-porn/anti-censorship activist). Myself, Ren, Ernest, or IACB will now have the authority to reject any comment that we find to be offensive, trolling, or otherwise insulting to the purpose of this blog in defending sexual expression and those who purvey and produce such. Those who want to engage in meaningful debate and discussion, of course, are always welcome, but if you are only here to pick fights or to run the usual smack, then you will be banished pretty quick.

The second notice is that we are now inviting anyone who is directly involved in the porn industry -- whether it be as a performer, producer, webmaster, or otherwise, to become a contributor to this blog. This is not to solicit gossip or to promote spamming, but simply to allow those who have been mostly left out of the debate on porn and free expression to have a free and protected space to speak their mind. If you are really good enough, we will make you a fulltime contributor with all the powers therein.

Finally, on a personal blogging update: I have unfortunately been forced to move my SmackDog Chronicles blog to a new webhost due to my old domain being phished too many times...which resulted in my old webhosting company permanently suspending my domain. I have saved my old posts from that location and will be transferring all of them (including the Nina Hartley Shmate interview series) to the new blog as time permits...but it will take some time to do so given my work schedule. In the meantiime, here's the new adresss for the SmackChron:

http://redgarterclub.com/SDChronBlog2dot8/index.php


Hopefully 2010 will be a bit more productive with less drama for everyone.


ADDEDUM: I failed to note that Ren Ev has gracefully decided to share her formerly exclusive moderator/owner powers, and have granted me full moderator rights and privileges and responsibilities. Since she was the one who originated the idea and the spirit of this blog to begin with, all of us are grateful and thankful for her efforts, her activism, and her being such a determined misantrope and a freedom fighter.