Monday, February 2, 2009

Yet Another Super Bowl Porn Malfunction

[crossposted from the SmackChron, mostly for Ren, who is a certified Football Femme]

Oh, this is too bad for the NFL….just when they think they’ve finally shaken Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction”, here comes Tuscon, Arizona to pour in a fresh glass of SNAFU.

For those of you not in Tuscon who may have missed it: the Comcast cable feed for the NBC affiliate there broadcasting Super Bowl XLIII got a bit interrupted for about a minute….

….right after after Cardinal wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald made that epic speed blast up the middle of the Steeler defense for what was at that time the go-ahead touchdown for Arizona. (Right before Santonio Holmes and the Steeler offense responded with their “right-back-at-’ya” drive to break Cardinal hearts and sew up their sixth Lombardi Trophy. )

Unfortunately, that’s not what viewers of Tuscon’s Comcast cable broadcast will be talking about..at least, not now they aren’t.

No…because the wild celebration (if premature) of Fitzgerald’s run was interrupted — some would say even marred — by none other than the sight of….a naked penis.

Evan Stone’s naked penis, to be exact.

‘Ya see, Clones: While most of America was having their teeth rattled at the closeness of the game, the Shorteez cable network (associated with the Club Jenna website….nice going, Jenna….even when retired you deliver one hell of an impact!!!) was airing a compilation porn flick titled Wild Cherries 3 18 ‘n’ Up Wet Poons (or maybe it was Wild Cherries #4...see Update #2 below); hey, not everyone’s into American football, you know.

Well, apparently, someone running the board over at Comcast got so excited at the sight of Fitzgerald’s run that he must have pulled a switch or something….because the Tuscon cable audience was thusly treated to a highly involved and entertaining blowjob scene featuring Mr. Stone’s prodigious dick….live, uncut, and totally uncensored. (No word on who the lucky lady doing the blowing was, but I’ll do my best to find out. Actualy, they mostly only caught the tail end of the BJ, and a bit of the aftermath when Evan swaggers his unit around while it’s still out of his pants.

The response was the usual variety: Outrage from the usual fundamentalist quarters about children being exposed to erect penises; remorse from the Tuscon NBC affiliate and from Comcast along with assurances of investigations to get to the heart of the matter; and bemusement from most others about how puritanical America still seems to be. Some of the lucky few to be so entertained tried to spread the wealth by posting the clip to YouTube…but it was later pulled due to that site’s stated policies against adult material.

Fortunately, an enterprising viewer in Tuscon was able to tape the faux-pas from his DVR to a camcorder, then cut his own clip of the incident to not only post to his own blog, but also to create his own website to sell the clip for cash. I’m sure that the legal department of Club Jenna and the producers of that video will be very happy about that.

Even more fortunate than that for the rest of us, good old Fleshbot.com got themselves a copy of the clip, and in their usual worthy and sterling public service, is showing the clip at their site.

I’m only awaiting for the Republicans in Congress to hold a press conference any time now about the evil spread of porn on TV and how Comcast did it on purpose because they are funded by the “pornographers”….

Only remorse I have about this: They could have at least given us some naked ladies rather than just Evan’s tool to drool over. Memo to Shorteez/Club Jenna: try some MILF porn next year.


Update: XFANZ.com just put up Evan Stone’s personal reaction to all the controversy (mostly, bemused amusement) and gives us some updated info on what may have caused the snafu:

A knee injury ended Evan Stone’s football career, but he got to appear in the Super Bowl last night. Part of him, anyway.

Late in last night’s telecast of the NFL championship, viewers in Tucson, Ariz., got a 30-second surprise when the game cut away to a scene from a Club Jenna production featuring Stone. The interruption came soon after receiver Larry Fitzgerald scored touchdown that put the underdog Arizona Cardinals ahead.

Stone learned the news from XFANZ, and after getting over his disbelief, he burst into laughter.

“That’s incredible,” he said, adding that he thought he had reached the peak of his media saturation when his face appeared on an episode of South Park.

“The people who appear on South Park, they usually destroy them,” he said. “When I saw myself on that show, I figured, ‘I’m vindicated. This is all I need.’ But this, wow.”

The clip appeared on Tucson-based KVOA-TV but, according to preliminary reports, cable provider Comcast is to blame for the snafu.

“The feed originated with NBC local affiliate KVOA in Tucson and traveled via a fiber optic line to the Cox Cable Company, which then relayed the feed through a separate line to Comcast,” said tech analyst Ian Paul. “Both KVOA and Cox say the problem lies with Comcast, as the KVOA feed was porn-free when it left the station, and Cox did not receive any complaints from its customers.”

Naturally, Stone doesn’t want Comcast to take all the credit.

“Oh, it was all a master plan,” he said. “I had been planning this for years. It serves them right for not letting me play in the game.”

Apparently, Stone might have had a shot at the big leagues, once upon a time. He said he played football at Western Michigan University until a knee injury ended his career at age 18.

But it all worked out for Stone in the end, even if it didn’t for the Arizona Cardinals. Soon after Fitzgerald’s score (and Stone’s cameo), Pittsburgh rallied to score another touchdown in the waning moments to capture the Lombardi Trophy.

I’ve embedded the scene below, but if you want to see the uncensored edition, please visit our good friends at the mighty Fleshbot!

The scene was reportedly from Club Jenna’s 18 ‘n’ Up Wet Poons.

Thanks to XFANZ for the update….still want to know who the lucky lady was on the giving end of that hummer, though.

Update #2: Hmmmm….Violet Blue at her Tiny Nibbles blog just posted that the lady in question is actually Tory Lane, and that the original vid from whence it came was in fact Wild Cherries 4. Considering how porn scenes are repackaged over and over again, though; it’s highly possible that it may have appeared under both titles. Whatever.

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